Family Life and Having Kids

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Mark and Jill discuss family life and preparing to have a child since it is Jill’s last week at LingQ before going on maternity leave.

Welcome back everyone to EnglishLingQ.

Today I’m joined, once again, by Jill.

Jill: Hello.

Mark: My name is Mark, in case you don’t know that already.

I guess we’re sitting here disappointed because it’s not our usual sunny day.

I’m not sure what’s going on.

Jill: A little bit of everything today.

Mark: Yeah, a little bit of everything.

It was sure raining hard this morning, as I rode here on my bicycle.

Jill: You’re diehard.

Mark: I am pretty diehard. I don’t have to go very far though.

Jill: No, that’s very true.

Mark: Anyway, at least our weather is better than the weather they’re getting in Eastern Canada right now.

Well, you were talking with…who were you talking to this morning in Montreal?

Jill: I was talking to Marguerite one of our Québécois French-speaking members in Montreal, Quebec.

She was saying that they had–I’d heard it on the news this morning as well – over the weekend a huge dump of snow in Eastern Canada and the U.S. as well.

She had said that she thought they had about three feet.

I’m not sure if that’s accurate.

Mark:Right.

Jill: What I read and heard on the news was 50 centimeters.

Mark: Right.

Jill: And then I think in Toronto I heard 30 centimeters.

Mark: Oh, okay.

Jill: So that’s, I don’t know, a foot and a half?

Mark: 50 centimeters is about a foot and a half, yeah.

Jill: About a foot and a half. I mean that’s still a lot of snow.

Mark: Yeah, for sure and, obviously, there are different pockets where you’d get more snow than others.

Jill: Right.

Mark: You’ve often said…well, you grew up in Lynn Valley, which is a valley here nearby that just gets more precipitation than any other place it seems like.

Jill: It’s right at the mountains, it’s up higher and it just gets more snow, yeah, and it’s only a 15-minute drive from the office here.

Mark: Yeah.

Jill: Not even 15 minutes, well, about 15 minutes and there can be snow there and absolutely nothing here.

Mark: Oh, for sure, there can be.

Or you can be driving along the highway…the highway kind of goes laterally across the hillside and Lynn Valley kind of bisects it.

Jill: Right.

Mark: So you’ll be driving along the highway and there’ll maybe be a little bit of snow and then you’ll hit Lynn Valley and there’s a foot of snow, you know? It’s amazing.

Then you kind of drive through and keep on going and then it…

Jill:…there’s no snow again, yeah.

Mark: Yeah, but that’s why Lynn Valley always had all the huge trees, right?

All the biggest trees were always in Lynn Valley because they have always had so much precipitation.

Like the massive cedar trees or Douglas fur trees I guess are all in Lynn Valley.

Jill: Yeah, we’ve got the beautiful parks, so many big beautiful parks there in Lynn Canyon and the Demonstration Forest with just huge trees and so much foliage, ferns.

It’s very beautiful, green and lush but, of course, that’s because of the rain.

Mark: What was it like growing up there in all that rain?

Because in the rest of Vancouver, you know, it’s pretty sunny most of the time.

Jill: Yeah, right. You know I didn’t even think about it to tell you the truth.

Mark: No.

Jill: But it’s funny, now that I live in Vancouver…Lynn Valley is in North Vancouver, which is I guess a suburb of Vancouver.

Mark: Right.

Jill: It’s very close, just across one bridge.

Now that I live over in Vancouver, actually across a couple of bridges, but it’s only about 15 kilometers, it’s not far, being just that much further away from the mountains we do get a lot less rain.

Mark: Oh, for sure.

Jill: And, of course, I mean it’s still Vancouver, so there’s still a lot of rain, but we might have a day where it’s cloudy, just cloudy and we don’t get any rain, whereas over here in North Van or West Van there will be rain or a lot of rain, so there is a difference.

Mark: For sure.

Jill: I know some of the suburbs that are further south that are even half an hour or an hour further south of Vancouver they’ll get quite a few more hours of sunlight every year; I guess that’s just being away from the mountains.

Mark: Yeah, no question.

I mean the clouds hit the mountains and dump their rain; that’s how it works.

Jill: That’s right.

Mark: Even if it is raining in Vancouver very often it’s raining that much harder…

Jill:…right, by the mountains.

That’s the one reason, you know, Chris and I are…well, we have to move, eventually, because our house isn’t big enough anymore.

We would love to stay where we live…in the area that we live, but I just don’t know if that’s going to happen, so the other area we would choose would be North Vancouver because that’s where I’m from, my family’s there, I have friends there.

But he really does not want to come to the North Shore and his biggest reason is just because there’s more rain.

Mark: Which is a really bad reason. That’s not…like, come on!

On a rainy day, essentially, if it’s raining there it’s raining there; like it’s the same place.

Jill: Yeah, but there is a difference.

Mark: There is a slight difference, but there’s not that much of a difference.

Jill: It can be quite a difference.

We’ve been over at our place and then come over for dinner–for example at my mom’s house–and, literally, we haven’t had had any rain all day and we’ll come over and it’s pouring over here.

Mark: It’s not like you’re sitting out sun tanning.

Jill: No, no, no…

Mark: I mean, like come on.

Jill: No, no, but it’s still…

Mark: If it’s miserable here it’s pretty miserable there too.

Jill: But it’s…well…I mean…I guess…I shouldn’t even say that’s his biggest reason for not wanting to move because his biggest reason is that where we live now we can walk everywhere and there’s so much to do that’s just right at our doorstep.

Mark: Yeah.

Jill: And that’s the biggest reason why we’d like to stay where we are.

Mark: Yeah, I mean there’s always that tradeoff, but then if you’re in North Van you have more open space, more green space; more space.

Jill: Yeah, exactly, yeah and you have such easy access to all the trails.

Mark: All the trails and mountains and skiing…

Jill:…biking…

Mark:…snowshoeing or whatever. It’s just much closer.

Jill: Yeah, you know, it just depends what you want.

Mark: I mean I’ve never lived over there, but you couldn’t drag me over there.

Jill: Yeah, you know what?

I used to feel the same way until I was about maybe 20…I think it was around when I was 25 that all of a sudden I thought no, I want to leave the North Shore.

Mark: Right.

Jill: I want to move over there for a little while and see what it’s like.

Then all of a sudden I had just a burning desire, I really wanted to get over there.

Mark: Yeah.

Jill: Now I’ve been over there for three years or three and a half years.

Mark: Yeah.

Jill: I mean I love both places.

I love the North Shore and I love where we live for different reasons.

But I have to say that I am sort of partial to over there now.

It really is nice being able just to walk out your door and there are schools within a five-minute walk from where we live, there are parks, there’s the beach, there’s Granville Island, there’s stores, gyms, everything and you just don’t have to drive and it’s quite nice.

Mark: Yeah, oh for sure.

Jill: But, yeah, it’s busier and…

Mark: I mean those are the tradeoffs.

As you’re in more of an urban-type of a setting you have more easy access to all kinds of things.

Jill: But, of course, land is extremely expensive, so to even get any small amount of land is a ridiculous amount of money.

Mark: Right, yeah.

Jill: So, yeah, I don’t know, we’ll see.

Mark: We’ll have to keep posted.

Jill: Yes.

Mark: But this is your last week here at LingQ before you abandon us.

No, don’t worry about us we’ll be fine.

Yeah, you know, I think I can speak for all our listeners that we’ll just have to try and carry on.

Jill: I already feel guilty enough. I do; it’s amazing.

I have certain people that I speak with every week and a lot of them I have spoken to for months or even years now.

They were former Linguist members who I really feel like I have known for years, so it is weird for me to actually think that I won’t be speaking to these people and having contact with these people for a while.

Mark: We’ll do our best to…

Jill: Harass me?

Mark: Aye that, but maybe we’ll let you maybe come back and talk to our members every once in a while.

Jill: Yeah, yeah, do the odd podcast.

Mark: In the future, yeah; do the odd podcast.

We’ll see; we’ll see what the reaction’s like.

Jill: Yeah, how kind of you.

Mark: We’ll ask our listeners.

Yeah, no, but, yeah, you’re due date is…

Jill:…March 30th.

Mark: March 30th.

Jill: Three weeks.

Mark: So you’ve really been working right up until just about.

Jill: Yeah, so four more days to go here.

Mark: Last four days here and then you’re waiting.

Jill: Then I’m waiting and, you know, that’s one of the things that I’m…that’s why I wasn’t really in a hurry to quit working early.

Mark: Right.

Jill: Because, I mean yeah, now you’re just sort of uncomfortable and you’re just kind of waiting for it to happen, so to sit at home for weeks with nothing to do…

Mark: Painting and repainting the baby’s room depending on which sex you think the baby is?

Jill: Yeah, yeah.

Mark: I think I’ll paint it pink today.

Jill: So I just didn’t see much point in that.

Mark: No.

Jill: I know some people take quite a bit of time off and in certain countries they leave work six weeks before their due date or some people even earlier than that.

I think it really depends on how you feel.

Mark: Right.

Jill: Some people have a difficult pregnancy.

Mark: Yeah, that too.

Jill: They’re very uncomfortable or they have some problems and they have to leave work.

As I’ve mentioned before, you know if you’re a nurse and you’re working 12-hour shifts on your feet; very difficult.

But I’ve had a very easy time really, considering, and sitting all day at my desk does not hurt my back.

Mark: No.

Jill: I’m not uncomfortable.

Mark: Right.

Jill: I mean I’m a little bit uncomfortable just because of…

Mark: But no more uncomfortable just because you’re here.

Jill: No, I don’t. And what would I do all day at home, sit there and eat bonbons or something?

Watch Oprah and soap operas?

No, I wouldn’t that would drive me crazy.

Mark: Right.

Jill: So yeah, I wasn’t in a hurry to leave way in advance.

Mark: So now, well I guess the baby should hang on until Friday, but thereafter it’s anytime.

Jill: Anytime.

Mark: You’re ready.

Jill: Yeah, I’m getting ready.

Mark: Or are you?

Jill: Well, I think I’m ready, yeah, ready for this whole part of it, this whole phase of it, to be done and I’m excited.

Mark: For sure.

Jill: We’re ready. We have everything ready and so, yeah, anytime would be good.

Mark: Well, come back and visit us sometime on EnglishLingQ.

Jill: Of course I will.

Mark: I’m sure you will. We don’t have any idea when that might be, but we might just Skype you sometime.

Jill: I would imagine I’d come in to the office anyway to visit fairly soon after.

I don’t know, I know you’re tired after and I probably really have no idea how tired because I haven’t gone through it before, but I can’t see myself holdup in my house for a month after I give birth because I’m just too exhausted to do anything.

Mark: No, I don’t think it’s that you’re exhausted, but it’s just a production to pack up and to go and visit.

Jill: There are so many things you need to bring with you.

Mark: You’re going to be making enough trips without inventing new ones.

Jill: Yeah, yeah.

Mark: But, I think after a certain amount of time then it’s not such a big deal anymore.

Jill: No, no, after that initial probably few weeks or a month.

Mark: I would think, yeah. I would think, I can’t remember.

Jill: Well, I mean you guys are here too on the North Shore and I have so much family and so many friends over here, so I’m going to be coming over here anyway.

Mark: Yeah, that’s right.

Jill: I’m not going to sit at home by myself all day long doing nothing.

Mark: Ah come on, well you won’t be doing nothing.

Jill: Well I won’t be doing nothing, no, that’s true.

Mark: You’ll be waiting for the baby to go to sleep so you can clean up the mess that it made.

Jill: So I can go back to sleep.

Mark: Yeah exactly.

Jill: So I can go have a nap, yeah.

Mark: Actually they’re not too active for the first little while.

Jill: No, no.

Mark: They won’t be getting up to much trouble.

Jill: Hopefully not.

Mark: Hopefully not.

Jill: Hopefully it’s not a screamer.

Mark: Yeah.

Jill: Not a crier who never shuts up.

Chris will be traveling quite a bit or has been and even for at least the first couple months after the baby’s born has quite a bit of traveling to do.

Mark: Yeah.

Jill: I’m just hoping it will be a nice mannered, well tempered child.

Mark: Right.

That’s like Annie, when she was born she was pretty good; for the first three weeks or so she was pretty good.

Then I left and went to Switzerland to play hockey and Kindrey and Annie were going to come…I don’t know whether it was three weeks later, I can’t remember what it was, but they were coming later…so she was alright when I left, but then shortly thereafter got quite colicky and lots of crying in the afternoon until she went to bed.

I still remember going to pick them up in the airport in Zurich…

Jill:…because Kindrey flew the whole way with her alone.

Mark: Kindrey flew the whole way with Annie alone.

Jill: Oh wow.

Mark: Gets off the plane, I saw them walking, you know, you can see into the luggage-baggage claim area there and she had Annie in her little car seat.

Annie was sleeping peacefully…

Jill:…looking like an angel.

Mark: I’m like wow! It looks pretty good.

It looks like things went well.

Jill: Oh…

Mark: Not so.

Apparently she, essentially, cried the whole way.

I think they flew from Vancouver to Toronto and from Toronto to Zurich, I guess, and I think she cried most of the flight from Toronto to Zurich and then fell asleep just before landing type of thing and was sleeping peacefully.

Jill: Isn’t that the way though?

Mark: Isn’t that the way and just lost her mind on that plane.

Jill: And you can imagine how irritated all of the passengers on that plane were?

Mark: Well yeah, everybody on the plane they’re trying to sleep and Kindrey didn’t know what to do.

She’s walking Annie up and down the aisles and she’s like trying to hide in the bathroom.

The stewardesses were chasing her out of the bathroom.

Jill: You have to get your seatbelt on.

Mark: You can’t stand, you know you can’t just…but she was trying to not be too noisy for everybody.

Yeah, I don’t think that was such a good flight.

Jill: No, no, I’m not in a big hurry to do a long flight with a baby.

Mark: No, no, I mean, no.

Jill: If you don’t have to.

I mean I wouldn’t choose to go on a European vacation in the next few months.

Mark: Wise choice, yeah.

Yeah, it’s just funny the differences between kids too.

I think Kyle was…partly because he was much bigger when he was born and he was just always calm and never fussed much.

Jill: I think that’s part of it too.

From what I’ve read and what I’ve heard premature and low birth weight babies typically are fussier.

Mark: Yeah.

Jill: They usually will have colic, whatever colic is and they will just tend to be fussier.

I know that was the case with my sister and my niece who were both premature.

That’s party why I want my baby staying on a little longer.

Mark: Yeah, right.

Jill: Because although I’m only three weeks away, which isn’t that early, I haven’t gained that much weight, so my doctor doesn’t think that the baby is very big.

Mark: Right.

Jill: Not dangerously small or anything, but probably not much more than five and a half pounds right now.

Mark: Like you should stop working and start eating a lot of ice cream?

Jill: Well I already do that. After work and at lunchtime I go for my walks and I get Dairy Queen.

Mark: Yeah, that’s true.

Jill: I’ve been terrible recently.

But that’s partly why I’d like it to fatten up a little bit before because I don’t want a fussy baby.

Mark: Well that’s right; no, I know.

Well I’m sure it won’t be fussy Jill.

Jill: It will be perfect.

Mark: It will be an angel.

Jill: Well, part of me, you know?

Mark: You know? Like how can it not be?

Jill: And we’re still calling it “it” too, which I feel terrible, but I just don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl.

Mark: You could just make up a name.

Jill: Well we were talking in the office the other day and we came up with the name Kelly; one of those names that could be a boy or a girl name.

Mark: There you go. I’m sure Kelly will be an angel.

Jill: Fingers crossed.

Mark: Yeah. Well with that we better wrap it up.

I don’t know if we’ll do another one before you go, but…

Jill: Possibly.

Mark: Possibly, so we’ll…

Jill:…talk to you when we talk to you.

Mark: You bet.

Jill: Okay, bye-bye.

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